The Reinvention of Lottie Potts, Book one of the 'Teapots and Tequila Shots' series by K L Crear
Hilarious, Relatable, Brilliant
Genre: Contemporary Fiction/Family Drama/Romance/Humour
Sometimes in life, it takes something to push us out of our comfort zone. It can be something we were expecting and dreading, that turns out to be the thing we needed most, or it can be something unexpected, a bolt from the blue, something unforeseen, or a person you thought you knew, but clearly didn’t, to surprise you, or not; someone who you thought would never hurt you and wanted the best for you. Someone who you had always tried to see the best in, even when it was a challenge...and now you realise that was because, there was no good to see. Lottie Potts had spent the entire twenty five years of her marriage striving to see what she had first loved about Daniel in those early days, even seeing her blatantly offensive nickname that he’d chosen for her, as concern for her wellbeing or a term of endearment. She never considered what it would take to make her think otherwise, until it did, and ‘just like that’, she was set forth on a mission to rediscover the person she’d always been, becoming less ‘Lottie The Bottie’ and more well, you’ll have to read and find out…
Being a massive fan of the colour pink, the cute cover of this novel caught my eye first. The narrative is a story well told, but one that a lot of woman can relate to, if not for the sanctimonious spouse, then for hormonal challenges, body changes, emotions and lack of self esteem that all contrive to change our lives. Also, just because it is a tale that has been told before, doesn’t mean that you have heard it. The same tale is different from everyone, and this is no exception. This novel will bring you to tears of laughter, evoke exasperation, vexation and maybe a little jealousy, but most of all joy, for the liberation of Lottie Potts. 
Agreeing to go out and then regretting it, whilst perusing the contents of a wardrobe, is a situation that I have been in many times, so I could feel Lottie’s pain. The general apathy, and debating whether it’s worth the bother. Wanting to have ‘your look together’, but not wanting to have to go to any effort to get there. With Lottie’s explanation of her life and her marriage, and the general demeanour of her husband, I was already there with regards to the reason as to why Daniel was of all professions, a banker! It is clear that the poor love has had the stuffing knocked out of her, and at this point, I just hoped that it wasn’t literally. Being ‘segwayed’ into a lifestyle that she now looked back on, remembering the dreams that were never realised, the closest she’d ever come, was her current employment, and that really didn’t cut the mustard. I knew how she felt, although I don’t have children and nothing even remotely resembling a career. She describes herself as ‘the antithesis of her dreams’, which certainly resonated. Her constant comparison to food stuffs and or need for food at this point was making me hungry and I wished I readied myself with the snacks of Lottie’s choice before settling down to read. I have never been a fan of the particular programme she selected for her viewing pleasure, but it was a highly entertaining description and I may now have to have a sneaky peak with a bag over my head and the curtains shut, hence why I’m not divulging the title! Her description to teenage son Jacob of the feelings stirring within her in relation to leaving the house for the evening made me guffaw!! I would say that I hope they were the first option and not the latter but to a middle aged woman, either is a bonus! 
The character of Lila sounded a hoot, and frankly the kind of woman I would like to be or know. The description of her ex-husband caused yet more guffawing, more loudly this time, and yes, maybe a small leakage. During conversation with Lila, Lottie makes a self comparison to Pavarotti, and even though the author went with ‘tenor’ instead of ‘Tena’, it caused much hilarity, I had to read it to my partner. Lila is a woman who knows herself, and it would seem also, her best friend. I was heartened by their bond. When it comes to the subject of toy boys, Lila’s mantra is ‘More stamina, less nostril hair’! 
Jacob, Lottie’s only child, seems like a lovely lad, even if he is a teenager. It is apparent that mother and son have a closeness that excludes father and husband, particularly when it comes to food. How Lottie had put up with this particular part of her matrimonial alliance, God only knows. His holier-than-thou haranguing of a woman in, frankly the prime of her life, when carbs and alcohol are an essential, was vile. How she was able to convert his egocentricity into a positive behaviour and humour it, is absolutely beyond me. I don’t blame his parents for moving to Spain!! His ignorant and demanding behaviour was just rude!! Lottie’s quote of ‘It goes down easy if it’s nice and cheesy’ is definitely something on which we are in total agreement. At seventeen, Jacob however, seemed less than enthused….
When Daniel has gone to bed that first evening, I really needed some warning about Lottie’s next move. Again, with the food, and not only that, wine!! My favourite savoury snack and alcoholic beverage in fact. Ladies, if you’re going to read this book, which I very much recommend, do yourselves a favour and prepare yourself by buying a couple of tubes of that crisp that you just have to have more of, you know the one, and a couple bottles of your favourite plonk!!
Lottie’s sozzled bedtime prep gave me a proper chuckle. I had Lottie in my head as a friend of mine which just made it worse, imagining her brassiere, unwittingly being employed as a catapult. I too have been used to finding food detritus in this particular garment. I can’t say I’ve ever managed to do what Lottie achieved, but it definitely hit the spot for me and her!! I felt for our Lottie though when she receives a disparaging response from her husband, without even so much as a polite goodnight! Maybe she needs to use ammunition that will have a bigger impact next time, like a whole aubergine!!
When it came to Lottie’s job, I could imagine that in the same situation, I wouldn’t have been able to demonstrate the merchandise either. Luckily for Lottie, it wasn’t a pre-requisite of the job and wasn’t something that Morgan would be seen dead doing either, by the sounds of her. I liked Morgan, even if Lottie wasn’t fond of Diane’s prolonged nepotistic tendencies. I think Lottie may have possibly harboured a little jealousy too, oh to be young! Having customers such as the malingering lingerie man would have put me right off the job altogether! I understood the way that Lottie felt about her job being just ‘hers’, and the fear of losing it. Although Daniel’s job would have covered any financial burdens, it is a matter of pride. To feel that you make a contribution to anything in any way you can, is important to an individual.
I suspect that we have all experienced an ‘Imogen’ once in our lives. I know I have. I was particularly struck by her comparison of one of ‘Leodis Chic’s’ finest, to a four man tent at Glastonbury as I was brought up in that very town...of all the festivals in all the world…. The name that Morgan very nearly calls Imogen as she exits the premises, and the bluntness, had me howling!! Probably a good thing that Lottie stopped her before she finished the question. Lottie’s name for Imogen is somewhat milder, but still nailed all the woman’s best points! 
Lottie’s trip to the hairdressers was much like my own had been in the past, the ghastly mirror into which you are forced to stare, all the way through the torturous process, even if, like Lottie and much of the time myself, you have not asked for anything different. Tip: Having your hair done in the comfort of your own home avoids having to witness the whole unsettling activity, but it isn’t anywhere as near as indulgent surrounded by your pine 80’s nightmare of a kitchen, and the smell of the food bin lingering up your nostrils. When wearing one of those capes I have never actually thought of myself as looking like ‘a slug in a duvet’. That will come back to haunt or amuse next time I choose to get a chop to my mop. I know that she was trying to encourage her out of her comfort zone, but I did think that Tabby telling Lottie that her ‘normal do’ was dull, quite rude! I have been there though with a hairdresser considerably younger than myself, as Lottie would say ‘quell surprise! Lacking confidence to initiate change improves with age I have found. 
As Lottie and Jacob sit in front of the TV, once again I find myself being enticed by all the lovely foods, in which Karen has her characters indulging. I felt for Jacob with his line of questioning put to his mum, but also at Lottie’s steadfast resolve not to colour her son’s view of someone who should be his hero. Both of them being mindful of the other’s feelings. She tries to deflect the subject of conversation to the more comfortable topic of food (what else?), in the same way that she has distracted herself for many years, sadly left berating herself for failing to notice signs of the depletion of a bond that should never be broken. 
Prior to her night out with the girls, the author’s use of the phrases to describe how Lottie felt about her appearance were so relatable and so funny, but I can’t possibly give them away as much as I’d like to! Lila catching the eye of a lounge-crooner sleaze who thought he was still in the 1970’s, and her somewhat crass way of dealing with the situation made me cringe. However, her summing up of this ageing playboy alpha male caused a chortle, it was so spot on! I did think Lila’s rather assertive fashion advice rather unnecessary. It touched a nerve because I have had the same done to me by a ‘friend’. Lila was probably doing it from a good place, but it just felt pushy. 
When Lila shows the girls something on her phone and Lottie mistakes it for Beaker from The Muppets…..well, I’ll leave that one with you to work out, it took me a minute! Let’s just say that it was something altogether very different. It leads Lottie to entertain how her and Daniel’s bathroom decorum has altered over the years and she wonders how far his more recent indulgence of ‘manscaping’ has extended, not having been privy to those parts for a time. I absolutely loved the wonderful description of Lila sliding off her vinyl stool in her leather skirt, and Lottie’s thoughts about someone who was most definitely worst dressed than her.
When Lottie first spots Roxy, I thought at first that it was some sort of hidden lesbian thing, as I believe that we all have a little. I couldn’t believe that even after coming across what she confesses to be one of her worst nightmares, she is still attempting to put a positive spin on it. I dread to think what our Lottie could have done with the cocktail stirrer, and frankly, I would have quite liked to have found out. There was of course the inevitable reference to ‘a good old poke,’and not just from her with the aforementioned plastic phallus. In the aftermath, Lila of course provides the kind of comfort that only a girlfriend can. 
Lottie’s initial form of revenge was inspired, and although we get a description of the fall out, it might have been nice if the actual event had been written in. I was disappointed to miss that moment. Her second form of retribution is much more direct and is a corker, especially with the addition of a purchase beforehand to add an extra kick to the proceedings. His glamorous companion not seeming thrilled at the prospect of an impromptu house guest or having to administer the aforementioned purchase for Daniel’s (possibly fabricated) affliction was a fantastic addition to an already compelling and rewarding scene. The lies that Daniel had told Roxy were reprehensible and I was glad that he at least had the good grace to look ashamed, even if it may not have been for exactly the right reasons. I enjoyed the fleeting release that Lottie gained, but why must it always be followed by an overwhelming dose of reality? 
Old Daisy, (elderly woman, not cow) has now given me a very real need for a constant stock of Werther’s Original’s, and as Karen very helpfully labels it ‘Old Lady Candy’, something that my partner agreed with, I shall forthwith purchase myself a crotched blanket, some slippers and be done with it. 
Lottie asking of her ‘compassionate coiffeur’, ‘I just want you to make me look pretty’ and receiving the warm response ‘Well darling, that’s the easiest job in the world’ made me emosh, and is doing so again now. 
Diane and Morgan’s reactions to their colleague’s news were rather different, Diane’s much more contained, in comparison to her niece. Lottie admits to having exchanged ‘chowing down’, for heartbreak, something I was grateful for. Morgan, this time comes out with something random but not rude, and I too, prefer the term ‘fluffy’. 
Lottie is understandably overwhelmed with the number of possible scenarios relating to the fallout of Daniel’s behaviour. ‘She hadn’t realised that the person she was living with had the power to hurt her the most’. But that’s the thing about love, it makes you vulnerable. That’s the chance we take. A check in with her elderly next door neighbour re-introduces her to someone from the past. Back then, her perceptions were very different, but how does she feel now? Feeling a frisson of attraction, she confines it to the back of her mind. I was routing for them!! 
What unfolds next brings out the worst in Daniel, the best in Lottie and provides both the reader and our girl, with a startling surprise surrounding her old acquaintance. Not to mention that elderly neighbours notice more than we think! I have a few and will take note...
Daniel’s constant attempts to persuade Lottie to let him have his cake and eat it, as Lila would say ‘boiled my piss’! Her retort when Daniel refers to Roxy as a hobby is just brilliant! Lottie’s epiphany that her husband is a snob, surprised me as I’d known from page one! 
Evelyn is wonderful. Lunches with her mother are for Lottie, a comforting constant. Evelyn is old school, however her heart is where it should be. I could well relate to the anxiety of disclosing something important to a parent, unsure of what their reaction may be, together with the feeling of relief once it is done. Evelyn’s acts of kindness had me all emosh, and I love that it is she who gives her daughter the key to her future. Her letter penned to her daughter with the typical critical postscript, plus her hysterical retelling of the embarrassing ailments endured by her friend Belinda, is not to be missed! Who knew that there was even a support group for that sort of thing?! 
The rest of the book is not something that I feel I can do justice to, or play fast and loose with in a review, without leaving it at the mercy of spoilers, so to entice, here are my favourite bits:
Lottie waking up in bed with a hangover, ‘like a dead fish’ and observing that it is always the worse memories that come screaming back; and on seeing his mum, Jacob exclaims ‘Wow mum, you look like a bag of crap’…and Lottie wondering if he in fact means this in a good or bad way…
Lottie and Daniel’s argument, during which she would probably have been much better vocalising her coherent thoughts than what she did say, giving him the upper hand…
Lottie’s stalking of Daniel on social media…we’ve all done it!
Lottie’s discovery of Imogen in the restaurant...proving my point that we do all have it in us, girls! I was impressed at this point that Lottie didn’t feel the urge to stage a similar reveal of her own.
The alternative lyrics to ‘Escape’ by Robert Holmes as they choose their cocktails. Kudos to Karen for these!
Lottie describing herself as more ‘pendulous’ than ‘perky’ when discussing the possibility of an intimate encounter…
The use of the phrase ‘getting her muffin buttered’ to describe the activities of a fellow shopper when Lottie is trying to choose new undies 
Lottie’s furtive attempts to extract her ‘Spanx’ in polite company 
Lila and Lottie’s scathing but very smooth two handed dressing down of Daniel, when he realises that there are a great deal more people who now know of his indiscretion, the use of ingeniously funny reptilian repartee, and Lila’s final scaling…I mean scathing, put down 
...and lastly, the most impressive parting shot from Lottie when dealing with her soon to be ex, direct and to the point: 
The way in which Lottie chooses to use Evelyn’s gift is a lovely way to round off Lottie’s journey, bringing the majority of those in her life together, continuing something that she thought would be no more, and giving her the independence she has always deserved. I wonder who that final text could be from?
Oh, and for the record, I have a waterfall cardigan, always Google your dates girls, and I am proud to be a BBW!
This is book one of K. L. Crear’s ‘Teapot’s and Tequila Shot’s’ series. I enjoyed it immensely, as it made me feel seen. as a woman in mid-life and has given me an excuse, the latest in a long line, to eat that last crisp and drink that last glass of wine. Karen, thank you. I look forward to reading the other novels.
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