This Is What You Wanted by Sarah Dawson Powell
Intense, Dark, Compelling
This Is What You Wanted by Sarah Dawson Powell- author 
Fate had brought them together, but it was the fate of others that had seemingly jeopardised their envisioned future. Friends first, and then soul mates, they had been thrown unwittingly into another role, derailing their original course, or so they were lead to believe for many years. With absolute blind faith in what they know to be meant for them, River and Emma determine to do what it takes to enable them to live their truth, unaware that someone is prepared to go to horrifying and insidious lengths, such is their strength of feeling, to ensure that they play the parts that life has dealt them.
Even though this is Sarah Dawson Powell’s third stand alone novel, it is also staggeringly her sixteenth book, and I am very pleased to say that I have read all of them. Sarah writes about individuals or groups of people who find themselves in testing circumstances, and explores the mindset of these characters and how and why they choose to react in the way they do, or leaves the reader to come to their own conclusions, making her narratives extremely thought provoking as well as uncomfortable at times. There is nearly always a number of moral dilemmas and a multitude of options as to how resolution might be sought, keeping the reader guessing as to what her characters will do next. Many of whom are very often disconcertingly but also excitingly unpredictable. 
So, when I delved below the beautiful cover of this book, this author’s books are always decorated with poignant designs using a stunning spectrum of colours, I came across its list of triggers, the execution of which, really are at the heart of this heart-breaking, emotional and evoking storyline. Now, having read every instalment of Sarah’s thirteen part book series ‘The Fragile Line’, seeing these triggers didn’t phase me, remembering it was, after all an SDP novel. Once I’d experienced the sexual shenanigans of Sadie Montgomery, I didn’t think that there was much more that could phase me, especially after the F.L’s final chapter. If you haven’t read it, I would advise it as a warm up, as River and Emma’s explicit exploits feel like they are on another level, not that this is a cause for complaint unless you have a delicate nature. I have a ‘trigger’ and have had to DNF a couple of books because of it. I did not want to do this with ‘This Is What You Wanted’ as this particular trigger was at a point in the novel where I felt invested in the characters enough to really want to see the novel through to the end. All of this author’s female leads are strong willed and level headed, and Emma is no exception. This facet of the character helped when reading this section of the book. I concentrated on how Emma was handling it rather than what was happening to her. It was also thankfully, short lived. This whole scene is filled with a suspense that made me forget to breathe and certain aspects turned my stomach, as eloquent and detailed as it is, and as I went onto the next chapter, concerning River’s point of view, it left me feeling both anxious to return to what was happening with Emma and exhilarated that she had handled such a heinous ordeal with such presence of mind and so stoically. 
I immediately took to both of Sarah’s main characters, River and Emma, loving their relaxed, playful energy with each other that could get equally as hot. Both secure in their bond, but also harbouring an insecurity and paranoia that their very lifeline could be cut at any second by the other, if one of them should uncover the hidden strength to take the more conventional route that has been expected of them. Their passion and need for each other would conjure envy in the most deeply devoted couple, and yet at the same time, they are both internally struggling with the complexities of their relationship. The turmoil in both of them is tangible, but this only serves to fuel their feelings when they are able to express them. 
There are many plot twists in this story of dysfunctional dynamics, a narcissistic neighbour and many carnal occurrences. I personally know very little about the main subject matter but, as ever with Sarah’s writing, the reader can guarantee an authentic literary journey with her usual injection of shock value to add a little spice, (quite a lot actually). I unfortunately had read a novel earlier this year which dealt with the same subject, and therefore was aware of the final revelation but was still impressed with the way it was executed. This is a well composed narrative with all the elements I mentioned at the beginning of this write up. The mention of ‘Mile 258’ was cleverly snuck in, but I also wondered how interesting it would have been to have incorporated River’s job with the incarceration of a certain band member.
Comments
Post a Comment